Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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