And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
