Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
