So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
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