This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
