you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
