Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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