I got chris browned last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
