I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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