It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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