You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
