I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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