hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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