i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
