you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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