Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize