i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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