did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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