After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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