real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
