not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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