i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
