Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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