She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize