Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"

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(503): View more from Oregon

We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

"bouncy castle"

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(619): View more from California

We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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(210): View more from Texas

I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.

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(301): View more from Maryland

What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Juice tastes so weird without alcohol

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(513): View more from Ohio

He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!

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