Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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