I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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