No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
