put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
