you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
