why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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