Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
