Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
