I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
COCAINE IS GR8
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize