Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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