am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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