My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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