A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
