There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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