im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
