went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
