My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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