remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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