OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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