I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
