Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
