I heard we made out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think your dad took our porno
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
