Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
