he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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