I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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