Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
