my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So many bounce houses so little time
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
