escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize