Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize