nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
