Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
