'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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