bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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