:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
