My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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