That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I see more hoeing in ur future
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
