You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The air was thick with penises
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
