areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
