A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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