At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
