We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
