now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
